Did someone that you care about get a Phoenix DUI? If so, you need to make sure that you help them by watching your own behavior. Enabling someone who struggles with their alcohol consumption can lead them down a path of repeated behavior. While you are not in control over the choices they make, you can set a positive example. It is important that you not enable them to continue their same behaviors because they will just continue to repeat the same patterns.
What Is Enabling?
Do you enable your loved one? Have you ever done anything that enables them to continue drinking? The only way to know is to understand what enabling actually is. When you enable someone, you allow them to continue bad or problematic behavior. This can be done by making excuses for them, buying them more alcohol, cleaning up their messes, or in some way, stopping the natural consequences of their actions from affecting them. Some of the most common forms of enabling include:
- Calling in sick for your loved one when they are hungover
- Making an excuse for why your loved one missed a big event
- Lying about the Phoenix DUI your loved one is now facing
- Going out and buying them more alcohol instead of having them do it on their own (even if you are buying it so they do not go out and drive)
- Not calling the police if you see your loved one get behind the wheel when you know they have been drinking
- Loaning them money for necessities that you know will actually go towards their alcohol habit
- Cleaning up the house after they have been drinking
- Doing things for others that your loved one should have been doing
- Fixing messes that your loved one left behind during one of their drinking binges
- Even bailing that loved one out of jail for their Phoenix DUI
Have you ever done anything that is similar to these examples? If so, then you have enabled their behavior, and they learned they could keep acting this way around you. You need to take steps to stop this behavior if you want them to stop drinking, or at least, drinking and driving. The longer you keep those consequences from hitting them, the longer their bad behaviors will likely continue.
What Are Some Good Ways of Helping a Loved One Who Has a Phoenix DUI?
There are some great things that you can do to help your loved one, instead of enabling their behavior. Consider if you were in their shoes. Would there be anything that someone else could do that would stop you from behaving that way? Typically, the opposite of enabling is the best thing that you can do. Consider these options if you want to help your loved one face their consequences sooner, rather than later.
- Do not call into your loved one’s employer. If the employer gets mad, then let them. It is your loved one who needs to face this consequence. They may even lose their job. Unfortunately, that is what it may take for your loved one to stop and take notice.
- Never make any type of excuse for why your loved one is unable to show up to some type of gathering or event. If they should have been there, and people ask why they did not show up, tell them to ask your loved one directly. If a lie is going to be told, let them be the one to do it.
- Be honest with people who ask what is going on. What your loved one did was a mistake, and it is natural for people who care about them to ask what is going on.
- If they get into the car following any large drinking event, call the police the second they pull away. They need to get caught in order to stop in many cases. If they chose to continue drinking and driving after one Phoenix DUI, then they need another in order to see how dangerous this is.
- Stop loaning them anything, especially money. If their situation is dire and they need help with something like paying a utility, and you want to help, then pay it directly. Do not give them cash.
- Live your own life and take care of yourself. Have a life of your own where you are not their sounding board all the time. You need to take care of yourself if you want to be there to help them when the time comes.
- Leave them in a situation where they have to take responsibility for their own actions. By bailing them out of situations or fixing their messes, they never fully see what their actions cause. They need to understand the cause and effect of their actions. Stop hiding that from them.
There is Help for Those Facing a Phoenix DUI
When your loved one is facing a Phoenix DUI, then you need to make sure they know the routine. They need to understand what the court will expect out of them, plus they need to take responsibility that comes with their choice. We can help with that. Reach out to us here at Alcohol Screening Arizona. We will speak with your loved one and explain what the process should be like for them.
The court is going to expect them to go through an alcohol screening, which is where we come in. Plus, the court may also expect more, depending on what the results of their DUI screening are. We can explain what the results could tell the court, and what that would mean. By reaching out for help, you are showing that your loved one is important to you. This shows them that you will be there with them as they accept responsibility for their mistake. Contact us today by calling 602-687-9481, and let us help your loved one overcome their Phoenix DUI, and not let it control their future.